Well, obviously life is a little busy right now, so I haven’t had the opportunity to really sit down and blog much, but I’m thankful for some unexpected time this morning to catch up a bit!
The transition of running the business in addition to family life and our previous commitments has been easier in some ways and a little more difficult in other ways, compared to what I expected. The one thing I’ve had to put on a hold for a couple of months is Gateway Vocals, but I’m looking forward to jumping back into rehearsals here in a few weeks.
I LOVE the fact that I can “work” (it’s pretty fun, for work!) and be with my 3-year-old, with the exception of his class at church a couple days a week, for a few hours! I knew this would be a win-win situation for us, but I continue to be so thankful for this reality. Judah and I enjoy going to estate sales on Thursdays and Fridays together, but the rest of my work is done during his naps and in the evenings after he’s in bed.
That’s another story, by the way. Judah has nearly turned me from an all out morning person to a total night owl; what’s with that?! The thing is, I’m the kind of person who NEEDS a little time alone every single day. Or I feel like I’m suffocating. Having a child will change life in ways you never imagined (just FYI if you’re not a parent yet). Since our kid has been a
horrible, rebellious, difficult sleeper from day one, I’ve had to completely change my habits. I’ve given up on setting the alarm for 5am and working out first thing. He’s usually up several times a night, crawling into our bed, kicking us in our ribs and whining about going back to his own bed, which means we’re also awake in the night several times. The last thing I’m going to do after being awake for who knows how long in the middle of the night is get up at 5am anymore. I’m not a pleasant person that way! So, I don’t get up until he wakes me, which is between 6 and 7 most mornings.
The morning hours are devoted to preparing breakfast, putting my makeup on and drinking my coffee, playing with my son, reading stories together, sometimes going to the park and walking the trail, and running errands. By the time we get home again, it’s lunchtime. So I get our lunch ready, we eat, read again and it’s naptime. Then I MIGHT, I’ll say it again, MIGHT have an hour to work on either the house or something for the business while he sleeps. But more often, as of late, I get 40ish minutes. Hey, at this point, I’ll take it.
Our afternoons often consist of a combo of a little housework (Thank God, Nathan has brainwashed our child into thinking chores are FUN! And that’s just one perk of being married to a neat freak.), playing, going to see Memaw and Mimi and getting dinner ready. We eat when Daddy gets home, then it’s nearly bath time, story time and bedtime for J. Most evenings, I get a second wind and I’m able to work on stuff for the business and workout til about 11pm. I definitely don’t work on stuff every single night, but I find it works best if I do a little something every day. I LOVE consistency and routine, so this works for me. I shower at night, read and end up turning off the light or the Kindle a little after midnight every night. Sometimes later. That’s my routine right now. Not ideal, but it’s working better than any other schedule right now.
Being a creature of habit like I am, I have to consciously PLAN my day around the right priorities. I have to CHOOSE what I focus on throughout the day, otherwise, I am one discontented mama, which changes the atmosphere of our home completely! Do you know what I’m talking about? I’m sure you mamas do.
I’m part of a mommy Bible study group at our church which meets one day a week. I’ve been part of this group since we moved here from Alaska, so this is going on our 3rd year. We do a study/read a book each semester, and this semester we’re reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Mothers of littles, please read this book and dwell on the message. Sally does such an amazing job of addressing the relevant issues so many mommies deal with and she does so with a Godly, Biblical perspective.
Recently I’ve been really concerned about that Judah’s attitude. Yes, he’s a 3-year-old, yes, he’s always been an energetic handful. But I’ve been SUPER frustrated with him and
asking begging the Lord to help me. Judah has an incredibly sweet heart, so it’s not that he’s an all out brat, although he can be ha! When I started praying about him, I started realizing my own attitude and thinking about how I speak to Judah. I’ve had to make such a concerted effort to be extremely gentle and patient with Judah the last several days, and you know what? It’s working wonders. Thank you, Jesus!
I think that most every mama will admit that some seasons of motherhood are exceptionally difficult and trying in one way or another. Last night as I read Chapter 4 in The Mission of Motherhood, so many things hit me like a ton of bricks, especially these lines: “Not only had he [Jesus] told them that whoever wanted to be first must be a servant to all, but he had also shown them personally what servant leadership was all about. They had experienced the depth of his sacrificial love firsthand and had been changed by it. This kind of servant leadership is the model that Jesus gave to us for all areas of our lives, including our roles as mothers. He reached the minds, hearts, and lives of his disciples no just by telling them what to do, but by serving them in love—an example that contrasts starkly to the common view of what leadership is all about.”
That’s the kind of mommy my son needs and the kind of mommy I want to be. Serving my child doesn’t mean doing everything for him (oh, he would love that some days!), but it’s more of serving him wholeheartedly, deciding to go with the flow a little more throughout our days, letting the dishes sit in the sink a little longer on those days that he’s more clingy and needing to cuddle more, etc. It means remembering that HE is my job, in the big moments and the small.
When I transfer my mindset from the day in and day out tasks of life, and refocus my thoughts toward an eternal perspective, everything changes! I love being a mommy.